You are 2 today! That was what the poster on our hall read when I turned two years old. That was almost 3 decades ago. How time flies. I remember standing stiffly pointing appropriately at posters and cakes and gifts with a plastered smile on my face. Most of the times I never liked the taste of my birthday cakes. Hmmm..maybe it was because of the fact that all other kids standing around me were more eager than me to have a bite as soon as I cut it or it was probably the icing that did it. And I didn’t know how to give a nice pose for photographs.
Anyway. My son is a natural though. He already poses in front of cameras and even knows when we are video shooting him. I guess it’s due to the fact that we tried to capture every moment of his since he was little and now he is used to it. 🙂 I decided not to be late like last year and post my thoughts about your birthday on time.
So how do I feel? Or more importantly, how do you feel son, turning two and showing me in not so subtle ways that you are growing up and that you not the little baby I held not a long time back. How come only two years changed all that? Isn’t it a short time for you to be up and walking, no, running without holding my hand; being confident about it? How about selecting shoes of your choice and refusing to wear the old ones until daddy made the payment and put on the new shoes? Thomas engine, Chuggington really! How did you learn to sing ‘Happy Birthday to you’ days before your birthday? How did you realise that you didn’t want to sleep on the separate bed and insisted on sleeping right between me and daddy. And now you wake up at night when you realise I am trying to make some space for myself, and you throw yourself on me. You really have odd ways of showing possessiveness! How come you are contented and calm without being too complacent? Sometimes when I see you so serene and into your own world, I can almost peep into the small window that gives me a glance into your future but before I comprehend the thoughts, it’s gone but it gives me an inkling that it’s good and healthy..for lack of better words.
There are times when I think about my career and when shall I resume it again. But then I once had a conversation with an elderly aunt of mine who raised her son single-handedly. She said that children who have their mothers with them in their formative years and who grow up with them singularly, turn out to be more content, self-reliant and happy than those who don’t have their mothers 24×7. This conversation has been a soothing balm for me.
What more can I ask? To burden you with my ambitions and hopes is not something that I want to do and I really hope that it doesn’t come to that. I don’t want to be that kind of mother. Yes, but I do want to instill in you liking for books, music, travel and food. I am sure if you deeply attach yourself to these (in that order), other goals of practical life will come to you naturally. Of this am sure. Advice in words is of no use right now but I hope in my actions and behaviour towards you, am bestowing the right values. You really are a good kid to bring up. I haven’t had any difficulties with you that I can name. Really. None. Touch wood. But I still have something more to say..
Two years ago, on this very day
I was on the hospital bed, all stressed out and gray
When they put you in my arms you looked so calm
I would be the best mother I had no qualms
Little did I know that my world had completely changed
That it would never be the same, no never again
Now I can’t imagine the nights when you weren’t at my side
And the day doesn’t begin until you have smiled
Do you know the little flutter that I feel inside
When you call me ‘Aai’ with your smile so wide
Surely there are days when I feel so bad
When you don’t eat, when you don’t sleep and you make me so mad
But the real fun is in experiencing all these things with you
Your achievements, your tricks, your moods and the essence that is you
It’s a delight to watch you grow and it never ceases me to amaze
All that you have accomplished at such a small age
Obviously am a mother and I have a bias they will say
It’s a mother’s heart after all, what else am I to say?
Two years now and look at how time flies
Wasn’t it only yesterday when you were bundled up all nice?
If I give you any advice I know you will scream
But always remember it’s chocolate and not vanilla ice cream
When life throws problems at you that seem big and you can’t handle
Look at the stars at night and your issues with appear small and dwindle
But all this is too far off so let’s not bother now
It’s your only 2nd birthday so go take a bow
Terrible twos? No way it’s definitely terrific twos
Here am wishing a very happy birthday to you!
Too long, eh?