frustration – Maddie's Musings

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Being raised in a family where the grandmother and aunt were more of a watchdog than a guardian, it was ingrained in my mind that any advances made by the opposite sex were to be looked upon with suspicion and distrust. More often than not it helped me. It was only rarely that their judgement ever failed. Also, if my sharp nose attracted their attention, my sharper tongue shooed them away.

After getting married I assumed that the unnecessary attention would end and after having the baby, I was relieved that now that am safely in the aunty category, no one would bother to bother me again.

But alas, the Facebook. Those who know me know that my memory is pathetic. I fail to remember people’s name, their occupation, children’s name, universities they study in and such important stuff. So on getting message on FB from people whom I do not know, I safely assume that my memory has ditched me and this must be some schoolmate or collegemate that I have forgotten about.

When we (hubby and I, obviously) were on our honeymoon, a guy came to meet me and asked me how I was. I was surprised he knew me. I searched my memory deep and wide. But no, I couldn’t recognize him even if he repeatedly said that he was in my school and my class. Anyway, I digress.

So I got this message on FB from some jerk guy. Here’s was transpired a couple of days back:

SJ (Some Jerk): hello
Maddie: Do I know you? (Wondering whether he was in my school)
SJ: no, but want to know about you, shall I?
Maddie: Ok. Am married and have a kid.
(no more messages for two days then)

There goes the trouble, I thought.

Then this another person messaged me:

Jerk 2: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Maddie: Do I know you?
Jerk 2: yes maddie howz life
Maddie: (scratching my head) Am good. How do I know you? I am sorry, not able to place you.
Jerk 2: so howz u dear
Maddie: (ah, the endearment I so hate from strangers and random acquaintances) Who are you?
Jerk 2: i m kenzy frm mumbai. i m in stock mkt.
Maddie: I don’t think I know you.
Jerk 2: TRY TO RECOLLECT DEAR.
Maddie: (the endearment again!) nopes, don’t recollect anything.
Jerk 2: OK UR WISH MADAM NOW WHT SHD I SAY.
Maddie: I don’t know you.
Jerk 2: ok dear. if u dnt know me thn try to know me naaaaaa .
Jerk 2: wht say can v b gud frnzzzzzzzzz .
Maddie: ok but before I get to know. You should get to know me. I am married and have a kid.
Jerk 2: same here i m also married and i have a cute lil angel she is 3.8 yrs of age wht ab u and wht do u do .
Maddie: I don’t make friends with strangers.
Jerk 2: but v r not more strangers now naaaaaaaaa .
Jerk 2: and u only asked ab me dear so whr u stay in mumbai i stay at walkeshwar.
Jerk 2: True luv is eternal… Cherish the luv when u’ve got the chance, for once it leaves U, it would be difficult to get it back.. Don’t let luv be only a memory in U. .
(Some sentimental message)
Jerk 2: so wht do u do

I stopped replying on finding out this was again some jerk and not a long lost school friend. My hubby, on narrating this entire conversation to him, said that there are lurkers on the net. These people must be sending such messages to hundreds of people and waiting for someone to respond. So that they can then pass the time. I wondered out loud, how can someone, who is married and has a kid can go on the net and make random friendships with someone whom he doesn’t know. To which hubby said that who knows whether these people are married or just faking it.

I wonder what makes such people send messages to strangers. They do this with so much confidence and conviction, assuming the other person would respond and be friends with them, if that is in fact the intention. And what really is their intention? Is it that they are too shy to make friends with real people in real world? Do they just want to pass the time on the net? Can they not do this with better things on the net?

I agree we do make friends with people whom we don’t know. Through common friends, while reading their blogs. But in these cases, we at least know something about them. We know them through a common friend, we know them through their blogs. So they are not complete strangers. I wish we could be spared the unrequired attention.

And the latest message from Jerk1: ok i too married and have a kid, see facebook is a medium to have nice friends or brother and sister, no matter it is before or after marriage, but friendship has to be a transparent and true.

Seriously, we (we gals) do not need it.

Disclaimer: My thoughts are expressed here. This is not personal apart from the two people mentioned in the post. This post is not meant to offend the good guys. If sentiments are hurt it is purely the reader’s responsibility. The author takes none.

This week I stayed at my parent’s place, assuming I would get more rest and spend less time travelling to and fro office. The opposite happened. Too much traffic, cabs not reaching on time, lack of scheduling and a general chaos about everything. I never thought I would say this, but reaching to Thane is more peaceful than reach to Borivli from Andheri. Thanks to all the bridge construction work at Malad; which is supposed to dissolve the traffic; but that is what is precisely creating a bottleneck. It takes more than an hour to reach Borivli from Andheri which under normal circumstances and no traffic would not take more than 20 mins.

No matter how many bridges you construct in Mumbai, the traffic situation is never going to improve. I am of the opinion that if you want a congestion clear situation, you would have to build a new Mumbai from scratch with new roads and rails, housing societies, schools, hospitals etc. Building a bridge is no solution. Specially when the work takes longer than estimated and creates a havoc for the commuters. I doubt if these bridges will be completed before the monsoons and even when they functional, they won’t be up to the mark. Soon they would have pits and would be dug up again!

On a different note, women have a way of complicating things around them. Yes, me being a woman, am making this statement. To the most recent chaos and arguments in my life, I find that women are at the source of it, sometimes including me. Why oh why do they have to spell out everything. Can they not just keep quiet and keep things to themselves? Is is always necessary to pass on any information you get? They have this obsessive compulsive need in them to blurt out any important or trivial information with no regards to the consequence of their such action. I am not saying men do not create problems. They do because they hardly talk about stuff. I find both are at extremes when it comes to talking about things and discussing issues.