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Maddie who never blogs!
I’m still alive. Maybe I should post everyday. Maybe I should delete the blog. After I save all the old posts.
Who’s reading?? Anybody out there?
Tags: indianparenting, kids, Parenting, school
This post is a vent to a very recent (early morning today) incident I had to face with another Indian parent at school. And I stress Indian for a reason. Today was a drop in session at school. During such sessions, parents are invited to visit their child’s class and have a look at their work while the class work is in progress. Usually, you get to see their books, what their current topic is and the writing/math work they do.
Now the usual ethics and attitude that the firang people follow is that they are only concerned with their child’s progress. They won’t ask you nosy/irritating questions about your or any other’s child. Unless of course there is some altercation going on between the kids. Now, my son was the only Indian/Asian kid in his class of 30 until another Indian boy joined in last year. So today this boy’s mother came along for the drop in session too. All parents were at their kid’s desk going through their books. This lady, after looking at her son’s books, came over towards me where I was standing and watching S do his work. Ignoring me, she sits down next to him and asks him whether she can look at his book. I was SO SO appalled!
First of all why the hell does she want to look at my son’s books? Second of all, when am standing right there (an adult AND the kid’s mother) why doesn’t she ask me whether she can look at his book?? And last, why in the world do want to see and THEN of course compare your child’s work with mine?
I am so frustrated and exhausted with this typical Indian mentality of parents comparing their kid with other kids. It is always about competition. What classes your kid goes to? What clubs he has joined. Then they send their kids to the same classes and start comparing grades. I remember in school, while my dad was busy scolding me for the wrong answers in the paper, other parents were busy comparing papers and arguing with the teacher about “giving more marks to this child and that and not giving marks to their kid even if he had written the same answer”. What rubbish!
In a class of 30 kids, what are you going to achieve by comparing notebooks? To think in terms of success. To think in terms of comparison. And I have experienced this mentality only in Indian parents. As soon as this boy joined school, all his mother asked me was if I had enrolled S in a zillion classes, does he know how to read and write in his mother tongue.
This is the first time I have experienced this nonsense and I am glad that the other 28 kids are not Indians. The exasperation I tell you! All these conversations irritate me and intimidate me. I don’t give a shit whether my son is the best in his class or in the school. I am happy he has friends, he can talk confidently and is generally a bubbly easy going boy and I know when and how and more importantly in which areas to push him for this own betterment.
I hope she is feeling better about herself! after comparing her kid with ONE other Indian kid.
How do you make such parents keep their noses in their own business??
-A frustrated mom
Tags: autumn, autumn leaves, colour, leaves, seasons
The weather has turned. The winds have changed. Summer is long gone and we have some of the most amazing autumn colours. People visit Scotland in summer, for the sunshine and warmth but I think autumn is the best season. I just love October – the leaves turn into flowers, the clear skies, the nip in air and the occasional chill.
That’s how the trees look right in front of our house.
How does your Autumn look?
As long as you help people, do their work even keeping aside your pressing matters, they remember you and talk to you. If God forbid you tell them, it can’t be done or you don’t have time, you are in the bad books, banished, blacklisted. You are meant to remember everything about such people, if you don’t respond, reply, they bark and shout like mad dogs but as long as you do their jobs, you are tolerable enough. Nobody thinks of you until they need you to do something for them. Only then you are the capable person, the responsible one, the dependable one. And don’t you dare say no to them. You, just you, are never enough, you always need to prove yourself, your worth, only then these highness-es, these big heads who consider themselves on a higher footing than you deem to give you their attention.
The worst part is you cannot say no! Out of some misguided sense of duty, family, relations, some misplaced complex that makes you want to please these people and stay in their good book.
Tags: blogathon 2015, eiffel, Paris
Cheat Post for Day 16, from my other blog 🙂
Just started Dave Cormier’s Rhizomataic Learning: The Content is the Community on the P2PU platform.
Week 1 Challenge – Use cheating as a weapon. How can you use the idea of cheating as a tool to take apart the structures that you work in? What does it say about learning? About power? About how you see teaching? Bonus – Do lots of rhizomatic teaching? Tell us about it.
My rhizomes were all connected in my head and then with this cheating – I felt a push that made them all spill over the floor like noodles all over crawling in different directions.
I am still uncomfortable with the word “cheating” in the context of learning. Who exactly are we trying to cheat – the educational institutions, their laws and structures, hierarchies or just ourselves? After listening to Dave’s explanation, I do get it but I don’t like it.
View original post 350 more words
Tags: Anil Biswas, Lata Mangeshkar, mehdi hassan, Music of Bollywood
There was a time when I would spend more than three hours a day listening to old Hindi songs and ghazals. This started when I was in 10th std and continued till the time I got married so that’s almost a decade. My very first memory of listening to hindi film songs is of “Chand fir nikala mag tum na aaye” from Paying Guest. I remember getting bored when that one came up on our gramophone. I enjoyed all the other ones but this one was particularly boring. But then it was the mid 80s and I had no other source of entertainment than what was laid out or laid down on the gramophone. My dad told me quite seriously that it was a very good song of Lata‘s and I should listen to it a few more times and then it will grow on me. As an obedient child I went on to do just that. Thus began my education on Hindi songs.
As fas as I remember this was a post dinner and pre breakfast activity in our household – to put on records of old songs and ghazals. Every morning I woke up to the tunes of Madan Mohan, Roshan, Anil Biswas, Shankar Jaikishan et.al. Then there were those never-ending songs which I later came to know as ghazals. At that time I honestly thought a single ghazal could go on for about an hour.
I don’t remember listening to any songs during my school years. Sa Re Ga Ma – Sonu ka – started when I was in 10th std. In one of the episodes, a contestant sang Lata’s “Woh to chale gaye aye dil..” from Sangdil and it completely changed my inclination towards music and songs and ghazals. That moment opened a Pandora’s box for me. I absolutely loved that song. Immediately after the episode was over, Pappa put on the original one sung by Lata. Then I listened to some more songs by Sajjad. Tumhe dil diya yeh kya kiya maine , Jate ho toh jao, Aaj mere naseeb ne, Bhool ja aye dil, Kali Kali raat among others were my favourite then.
It didn’t take me long to realise that I won’t be able to sing a single one of Sajjad’s song. They were brilliant and ridiculously difficult. Only Lata has done justice to them. Who ever thinks that Asha is a better singer than Lata, please, ask her to sing these songs the way Lata sings and then we shall talk. Only the words from Lata’s vocal cords pull at the heart-strings.
I then moved on to Shankar Jaikishan, Anil Biswas, Salil Choudhary, C Ramchandra and Roshan. I don’t quite remember when I shifted my attention to ghazals. Somewhere during college perhaps when my bus journey took more than 15 minutes and I could listen to a complete ghazal. While Pappa was always partial to Ghulam Ali, I always preferred listening to Mehdi Hassan. Ghazals need a different post.
At home, we all have our favourite music directors, for my pappa it’s Anil Biswas, my grandma loves Roshan and Madan Mohan and my uncle Shankar Jaikishan. It took me a long time to decided which one was my favourite and so I made a list of songs that I loved the most. Majority of them turned out to be of SD Burman‘s.
What makes me think of songs today suddenly. To my horror I realised I couldn’t recall words to my favourite songs even after singing a line repeatedly. It’s been happening for quite some time now. If my grandma heard about it, she would be me disapproving dirty look – how can I forget after listening to the renditions a hundred times. So have pledged to listen to more of my favourite songs and ghazals this year.
Signing off with three best gems from Anil biswas
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