Hitting on someone over facebook

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Being raised in a family where the grandmother and aunt were more of a watchdog than a guardian, it was ingrained in my mind that any advances made by the opposite sex were to be looked upon with suspicion and distrust. More often than not it helped me. It was only rarely that their judgement ever failed. Also, if my sharp nose attracted their attention, my sharper tongue shooed them away.

After getting married I assumed that the unnecessary attention would end and after having the baby, I was relieved that now that am safely in the aunty category, no one would bother to bother me again.

But alas, the Facebook. Those who know me know that my memory is pathetic. I fail to remember people’s name, their occupation, children’s name, universities they study in and such important stuff. So on getting message on FB from people whom I do not know, I safely assume that my memory has ditched me and this must be some schoolmate or collegemate that I have forgotten about.

When we (hubby and I, obviously) were on our honeymoon, a guy came to meet me and asked me how I was. I was surprised he knew me. I searched my memory deep and wide. But no, I couldn’t recognize him even if he repeatedly said that he was in my school and my class. Anyway, I digress.

So I got this message on FB from some jerk guy.  Here’s was transpired a couple of days back:

SJ (Some Jerk): hello
Maddie: Do I know you? (Wondering whether he was in my school)
SJ: no, but want to know about you, shall I?
Maddie: Ok. Am married and have a kid.
(no more messages for two days then)

There goes the trouble, I thought.

Then this another person messaged me:

Jerk 2: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Maddie: Do I know you?
Jerk 2: yes maddie howz life
Maddie: (scratching my head) Am good. How do I know you? I am sorry, not able to place you.
Jerk 2: so howz u dear
Maddie: (ah, the endearment I so hate from strangers and random acquaintances) Who are you?
Jerk 2: i m kenzy frm mumbai. i m in stock mkt.
Maddie: I don’t think I know you.
Maddie: (the endearment again!) nopes, don’t recollect anything.
Maddie: I don’t know you.
Jerk 2: ok dear. if u dnt know me thn try to know me naaaaaa .
Jerk 2: wht say can v b gud frnzzzzzzzzz .
Maddie: ok but before I get to know. You should get to know me. I am married and have a kid.
Jerk 2: same here i m also married and i have a cute lil angel she is 3.8 yrs of age wht ab u and wht do u do .
Maddie: I don’t make friends with strangers.
Jerk 2: but v r not more strangers now naaaaaaaaa .
Jerk 2: and u only asked ab me dear so whr u stay in mumbai i stay at walkeshwar.
Jerk 2: True luv is eternal… Cherish the luv when u’ve got the chance, for once it leaves U, it would be difficult to get it back.. Don’t let luv be only a memory in U. .
(Some sentimental message)
Jerk 2: so wht do u do

I stopped replying on finding out this was again some jerk and not a long lost school friend. My hubby, on narrating this entire conversation to him, said that there are lurkers on the net. These people must be sending such messages to hundreds of people and waiting for someone to respond. So that they can then pass the time. I wondered out loud, how can someone, who is married and has a kid can go on the net and make random friendships with someone whom he doesn’t know. To which hubby said that who knows whether these people are married or just faking it.

I wonder what makes such people send messages to strangers. They do this with so much confidence and conviction, assuming the other person would respond and be friends with them, if that is in fact the intention. And what really is their intention? Is it that they are too shy to make friends with real people in real world? Do they just want to pass the time on the net? Can they not do this with better things on the net?

I agree we do make friends with people whom we don’t know. Through common friends, while reading their blogs. But in these cases, we at least know something about them. We know them through a common friend, we know them through their blogs. So they are not complete strangers. I wish we could be spared the unrequired attention.

And the latest message from Jerk1: ok i too married and have a kid, see facebook is a medium to have nice friends or brother and sister, no matter it is before or after marriage, but friendship has to be a transparent and true.

Seriously, we (we gals) do not need it.

Disclaimer: My thoughts are expressed here. This is not personal apart from the two people mentioned in the post. This post is not meant to offend the good guys. If sentiments are hurt it is purely the reader’s responsibility. The author takes none.

Silence and updates and addiction

I know I have been silent for some time now. But if you cannot understand my silence, you will never understand my words 😦 . Well, still I’ll continue. I have been suffering lately. A lot. At first I didn’t know what was happening. It just seemed hazy. I think I was coming down with something. If I didn’t do it, if I didn’t have a regular dose of it, I would feel low. I was getting hooked onto it. I had read it and heard about it that it made you fall into the habit.

Yes guys, its a shame. But am addicted to facebook. I spend around 9-10 hours facebooking! 😛 . It’s difficult not to. It’s so much better than Orkut. Very sleek, very classy, very neat. I feel something is missing if I don’t log in, buy a few friends, send a few mystery seeds, cupcakes, flowers, pet my fluff, fluff’s fluff friends, update my status, set my mood, take a couple of quizzes, among many other things. The different applications are so compulsive that I just cannot seem to stop indulging myself. Someone just petted my Fluff, I need to return the favour now…

Casting a web

Just when you think that things are settling down! This time it was the Internet that boggled me down. I had a long weekend planned. Things were looking bright. Then my office mail server started behaving weirdly and didn’t give me access to my email. For some reasons, it was of utmost importance to me that my email works, I had to send and receive many important mails during these days. But no, for the entire day the mail didn’t work.

Initially, I left it alone, thought it would work out on its own, since this problem had been a recurring one. The net in our office has a mind of its own. It will function as per its will. And when you want it desperately to work, it will lie dead. This time I was the victim.

Anyway, I had a blast this weekend. I had to attend a party in the family. The party was good with all friends and family. Though, on the same day, another get together was arranged by some of my very close friends. I had no choice but to attend this family function; which turned out to be very good. A DJ party was arranged. All youngsters and elders danced their hearts out. We were on the roll. I danced after a long long time and my body made me realise that later by giving me aching limbs and joints.

So coming back to my Internet and mail problem. I thought that I would check the mail from home (at my in-law’s place). But then the PC turned against me by refusing to start up. The entire weekend went without connecting to the net, leave aside the mails.

Coming to office today morning, I thought my problem would be resolved. But the problem still persisted. I spent almost the entire day talking with the IT guys, god, we even had a conference call! But still no solution. I was so very frustrated. I narrated the entire episode to my colleague including the dialogues shared between me and the IT guys. They said then had done a million changes and it should work fine within some time. When I told him all this, he said that this reminded him of one of the scenes in Matrix Reloaded. The one where Neo meets the Architect. Neo asks the architect, “Why am I here?” The architect gives him a long bhashan explaining him the complexities and problems in the different Matrix versions prior to this. Then Neo says, “That still doesn’t answer my question”. I felt exactly the same. Agreed, the IT guys must have done the required changes. But still I was facing the same problem and it wasn’t a solution of my issue.

I came back home (to my parent’s place) dejected. But then I cheered up, thinking, I would check the mail from home. But the Internet connection was out. The modem had no lights blinking and it was staring back at me blankly. Now suddenly, it has started working. I feel scared. If the modem and CPU become aware that they are working in perfect harmony, then they might stop and before they do, I want to post this up.

Tracking memories

When I was in Singapore, I had made an electronic diary, writing down notes and things in a Word document on my husband’s laptop. Since there was no Internet at home, I was not able to post it or mail it. Now, the big question was, how was I going to bring back that document so that I could blog it. I finally thought had an idea. I stored it on the chip of my digicam.

After I came back, I tried many times to copy-paste that doc onto my hard disk. But the problem is, I don’t see that document on the chip. I don’t have a card reader and that makes it all the more difficult. I tried plugging the camera into different USB drives but still no luck.

I have this habit of deleting all the photos from the camera as soon as I transfer it to my machine. So, to add to misery, I did just that. Hit me! And now am not sure whether that document would still be there on that chip.

Thankfully, that document is still there on my husband’s laptop but it’s difficult for him to mail it to me. He is not allowed to take his laptop to office and mail me from there. Plus, the cyber cafes there, are too costly.

Am now in a fix. I want that document. I want to add things to it. It’s a resource. It’s my memories. It’s my 15 days I spent there. Also I am eager and cannot wait to post it on my blog. My cousin has a card reader and that’s my only chance now. But I won’t get time to visit him until the weekend. And then what if that document has also got deleted while deleting the photos.

You see, I am desperate! Can anybody help me out?


This is a first for me! Tagged for the first time! And am more than excited to oblige.

Here are 8 facts about me (are facts supposed to be true?)

1. I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder for checking my reader updates, browsing websites and blogs. Am suffering from Internet addiction. L

2. I constantly have a sense of de-ja-vu

3. I am a perfectionist and have to have things in order. I cannot delegate as I feel others will mess up and won’t do it as good as me.

4. I am an eternal pessimist. But that took years of practice to actually think about a negative outcome and feel elated when something positive happens; no matter how small.

5. I am a huge fan of Lata Mangeshkar. The day doesn’t pass if I don’t listen to a single song of hers.

6. I have an aversion for people whose English is incorrect or not up to the mark. (I know it’s weird.)

7. I bite my nails when am anxious.

8. I hate hypocrites.

I can go on but am supposed to restrict till 8!

Thanks Mats.

Am tagging




Do you wake up at 3 in the morning to check your mails? Do you get depressed if none of your on-line buddies are on-line? Do you have this obsessive compulsive urge to be on-line all the time? If yes, then don’t be shocked to find yourself diagnosed as an Internet-addict.

An article says that compulsive e-mailing and text messaging could soon become classified as an official brain illness. The American journal of psychiatry says that Internet addiction such as email/text messaging, excessive gaming and sexual pre-occupations is a compulsive impulsive disorder that should be added to psychiatry’s official guidebook of mental illness. Like any other addiction, the symptoms include urges, cravings, withdrawal and tolerance which can be satisfied with only better software and more Internet hours.

Some research says that Internet addiction is in its infancy. However, how do doctors evaluate when the normal becomes obsession? This addiction would be more prevalent in the educated and the introverted who tend to spend most of their waking hours alone glued to their PCs or laptops.

The more important question here is, does this spending of long hours on the net affect your life and if yes, how? If the so called addicts do not get their expected dose of the net, does it affect them mentally and emotionally? How are they likely to react then?  

Though I believe most of the time spent on-line is unproductive. It is spend predominantly in checking mails, chatting, and browsing websites. However, there is no fixation on one thing entirely. The attention of the on-line user wanders and excess wandering can very well lead to ADD.

In today’s frenzied world, we have come a long way from the one-thing-at-a-time to multi-tasking. By and large, the outlook of man has also changed. The carefree and laid back way of doing things is replaced with multi-tasking. The whirlwind of activities that one is required to complete in a day has led to low attention span and hyperactivity.

To shelter from all the stress, anxiety, tension, worry, strain, pressure of performance and competition that one faces in everyday life, one seeks refuge in the secluded world of the Internet where one can loose himself entirely and even anonymously.