Day 20: Wise words


So it was a normal Monday morning. There was the normal rush for getting to school on time, pack the lunch boxes, get the breakfast done etc. We were well within time when I asked Son to change into the uniform.

Me: Come on S, let’s get ready, where’s your uniform?

S: It’s okay, we have time. Please help me with the clothes.

Me: a bit flustered, … Okay come on hurry up now!

S: Okay okay don’t get angry.

Me: more flustered – Am not angry!

S: Yes you are. You are always angry.

Me: (Angry but hiding it.) Am not angry, maybe I am. That’s my thing – being angry! Like your thing is to watch the iPad all the time and dad’s thing is to….. (wondering what to mention here)

S: (in a very quiet voice) Dad’s thing is to calm you down.

Me: !!!

Hubby smirking in the background having heard all this talk!

Why my husband is a saint


Early morning conversations:
Me: God! I can’t believe I will turn 30 by this weekend! 😦 : *almost about to sob* I feel so old already. 😦

Saint: Don’t worry dear. Old is gold.

Me: What gold?! I feel like an old hag.

Saint: More like old wine dear…or whiskey, best when aged!

Me, books and makeup


It was almost four years ago that my husband skilfully managed to make me watch another of Meryl Streep‘s movie to convince me of her great acting talents and this time he tricked me into it saying that there’s a character in it that’s just like me.

I was hooked.

The film was Devil Wears Prada and the character he was referring to was Andrea Sachs played by Anne Hathaway! I was very excited to watch this cute and hard-working girl until I found out that she was the target of much ridicule for her dressing sense and style. So that’s how my husband saw me – a girl with no sense of style.

I found a sad little corner of the house and secretly licked my wounds. Instead of frantically getting a makeover and taking a crash course in make-up, I adamantly stuck to my style – whatever that was.

Then we travelled to Edinburgh with a one year old in tow. Dressing and makeup were replaced with diapers and baby food. Having my hair in one place and no drool on my face was the best makeup. Living in perhaps the most beautiful city in UK and being surrounded by beautiful women did no good to my ego. Even the old ladies wore pearl necklaces for a walk in the gardens!!

Wait, I have a point and I will come to it. Perhaps!

Summer’s here or it is supposed to be here and am eagerly waiting for the Edinburgh International Book festival to start next month. I am attending a couple of events and I don’t want to be Andrea Sachs with the blue sweater.

Beauty tips anyone?

Unofficial emergency – the Cold war


We have a dire situation at home. Hubby has got common cold. In such situations, I am a witness to gory sights which I have never witnessed before.

When hubby catches common cold, the situation is alarming and it usually results in undertaking extreme and desperate measures to control the awful (!) illness.

The mucus turns into solidified rocks which blocks the two openings of the volcanic mucus mountain. Frantic measure are then undertaken to make this mountain erupt.

I try to take a deep breath and will myself to be calm. Perhaps I am being insensitive and I do not understand the gravity of the situation. I just think he has got cold. In situations when he catches the cold, the otherwise calm, resilient and macho Buddha turns into a touchy, vulnerable, noisy stranger.

Every few hours or is it minutes? the stranger sniffs, growls, uses swear words and cries mummy. Literally. He has long given up on tissues and handkerchiefs and is now using the fleece baby blankets that I had got 2 years back for my son.

This is a disaster of epic proportions, mind you. The invincible macho-man, Saint, as I usually prefer calling him has turned into a giant-cry-baby.

And this is not the worst part of the situation. The worst part is I am not supposed to laugh at the comical drama that is unfolding.

Alternatively, medicines, Ayurvedic and antibiotics, home-made soups, steam, vicks, sleep and phone calls to mumma dearest will help him traverse the rocky lava journey.

PS: On reading this post I am not sure who will fire me the most…hubby or FIL. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help posting it.

Mummy kehti hai bada naam karega…


My son just finished his second colouring book. He has shown patience to complete a whole a page before jumping on to the next, ability to keep the colours within the lines and has torn only 2 of the 15 pages – a vast improvement from the previous one which is lying in shreds somewhere in the dark recesses of and beneath the sofa.

When you are young life is so beautiful around you. Everyone appreciates you, motivates you and makes you think that you can achieve almost anything if you put your mind to it. You feel anything and everything is possible for you. You just need to walk out of the door of your house and there’s a whole world of possibilities out there for you to grab.

Such are the thoughts that I get when I look at my son.

Possibilities. Adventures. Opportunities. Bright future.

Life is very beautiful for him right now he can turn it any which way he prefers.

In this last year he has learned so many new things and diverse activities that given the opportunity and infinite resources at his disposal, any activity of his can be considered as a serious career opportunity. This is another manifestation of our unachievable ambitions and dreams. Here are a few that are at the top of our minds:

Artist/Painter: The colouring book number 2. Just yesterday he coloured for an hour. Continuously. He was even humming to himself during that time. I agree he gets confused between light blue and dark blue and most often the clouds are red instead of grey but then he can always paint a modern art. Here are his masterpieces:

While we are talking about modern art, check out few of his samples. I mean do you really think he should give up on such talent?

Greeting card for Mother's Day
Painting at playgroup
Clouds and sky - another painting at playgroup

He loves to draw on his erasable slate. From son, moon – sorry moon crescent to smileys, fridge, mobile, Tom and Jerry. He can even draw himself and my ma ki nazar can make out an uncanny resemblance. Once he even drew a fat dad and a thin mum who oddly resembled a long thin broomstick. My son is very talented I tell you.

The Smiley
Headphones
   
Self Portrait

Travel and living: Not travelling in Mumbai and living in suburbs. That’s horrible. This is more like what they show on the Discovery channel. This one is also a secret ambition of my husband, an alternate career if you like. Since coming to Scotland, we have been on many trips – Amsterdam, London, highlands for short trips and many day outings and the son has enjoyed it. As long as he is outside the house he is happy. On weekends, when the kiddo wakes up and realises that Daddy is at home, he asks, ‘Where are we going today?’ He has his daddy’s genes. The husband can never stay at home for an entire day. He has to go out even if it is for grocery shopping or just to take a walk. The son is the same. The husband is enchanted with the Discovery channel and can watch it for hours specially the programmes in which  the host travels to exotic locations. You get the idea.

Modelling: This ambition is nurtured by the kiddo’s grandpa, my Father-in-law. Bachpan se, the kiddo’s looks have been compared to that of Ranbir Kapoor. I don’t know what the connection is. He doesn’t look like Ranbir and I for one had a crush on Rishi. Anyway, I have been told that my FIL had this ambition for one of his nephews as well who he thought looked like some good-looking actor at the time. The FIL’s further secret ambition is to be his Manager. No comments. Here’s our model for you:

The model in a stylish camera friendly pose

Chef: Cause, let’s face it cook is just mediocre. This again I believe has been the secret ambition of my hubby’s and since the kiddo shows some excitement about what’s cooking, we now have daydreams about his becoming a Chef. Not SRK in Duplicate, more like Jamie Oliver. Oh how my daughter-in-law would bless me!

Singer: ‘The wheels on the bus’ has close to 50 odd versions if not more. Did any of you know that? It’s been more than a year now and this is still the kiddo’s favourite song. It is played on Youtube throughout the day and when it’s not playing on Youtube, the kiddo is singing it. At the top of his voice. The best part? I have to do the actions for round and round, beep beep beep etc etc every time he sings it! He definitely has the sur and taal.

Dancer: He also has the laya. Apart from jumping around in circles and some other dance steps, he has perfected Dev Anand‘s walk! Dev Anand style walking he says. Now Dev Anand has been my first crush ever since I saw Paying Guest. Husband doesn’t like him, never did and makes fun of me every time I sit down and drool over his songs. The son doesn’t know who Dev Anand is – but he vaguely considers Ganesha to be Dev Anand – it’s the Dev in it, I think. The husband doesn’t want Dev Anand to be his dancing inspiration and idol and I am just happy that he picks up the beat for ‘beep beep beep from Wheels on the bus’ and can clap 3 times on it. Perhaps I should show the kiddo the song ‘Khoya khoya chaand‘. I haven’t yet told my husband that I sometimes secretly dream of enrolling the son for Kathak classes. 🙂

Acting: He sure can act and on cue. He knows when to throw tantrums, when to make that baby face that makes us go awwww.. and has perfected the tear faced look – when his eyes are filled with tears but not a single drop drops and his face looks dejected and saddened. What else do you need – dancing and singing along with acting! He is a boy wonder.

Writer/Composer: This child prodigy of mine has composed a song of three lines. I mean that’s something. And no, he poem is not like Rosesh’s. He has even composed a tune for it. I have already started nudging him to write a story because let’s accept it, most people like to read novels instead of poetry. At bed time though he does compose some short stories to tell us so I have hope.

Footballer: This is another one in his long list of passions. He loves to play football. In the house. He cannot bend it like Beckham as yet but he makes it up in speed and accuracy. He knows just how to kick the ball in the air and aim it at the ceiling lights without breaking a single bulb. That’s timing and accuracy. He can even aim it at the TV without breaking the glass. Seriously football it is for him!

Cricketer: He already has the timing, you know placing the ball and all. He doesn’t play cricket with the huge football. He likes the small tennis ball. My only disappointment is that he is a left handed batsmen, I would have liked him to be a right-handed batsman but then I guess that’s too much of expectation!

Seriously, why would you want to be an engineer, doctor, teacher or an IT professional when you have such brilliant talents and glamorous career options. Besides, those are just jobs and these are careers, mind you. That’s why I have excluded them.

So, you have any unfulfilled wishes that you want to intimidate your child with? 🙂

My resolution for the New Year…


is to say ‘No’ to New Year’s resolutions!

You either love them or hate them…those resolutions that everyone makes and talks about for at least 2 weeks: a week before New Year’s eve and 1 week post the New Year’s Day. By the 2nd – 3rd week of Jan, the resolve starts to dwindle and motivation fades. It would be a good guess that by now you all are falling short of motivation and your resolves are dwindling out.

Looking ahead to a new year is like gazing across a field of freshly fallen snow – it appears clean and flush with opportunities to pick a new path. So you are pumped up with motivation for the new year especially the first couple of months – Jan and Feb when there is no holiday on the calendar. You need something to go on and resolutions might seem like a good enough excuse.

But that’s all they are. By the last week of January you are already burdened by that darn list that you blogged about and twitted in your drunken stupor during the New Year party.

You realise you have exercised only 1 day for only half of the scheduled time before you went to flex your muscles in front of the mirror. The house is still a mess. All you have managed to organise is the list of chores and colour coded it assigning importance and urgency.

You have smoked a hell lot more in your anxiety to get on with the resolutions and then you remembered that you decided to quit smoking this year. Now that one went straight out of the window.

You realised that to spend more time with your friends and family you need more money and for that you need to spend more time in the office than with them cause you want to spend time with family in style, on a cruise, go on a holiday etc. and sitting on a couch watching TV doesn’t count as ‘family time’.

By the time you have figured this all out half the year has already passed. No one ever talks about resolutions by the middle of the month!

According to Mayan prophecy the world is going to end by 2012. So why make resolutions when we all are going to die in a few months? Why not eat the chocolates, drink the beer and wine and hang out instead of working out?

Don’t get saddled with those resolutions. Cheer up with these for starters:

Get cosy: It cold out there – even in a city like Mumbai. When smart creatures can hibernate, so can you. Take comfort in warmth of your home, snuggle deeper into your blankets with a bottle of wine.

Enjoy your free time: away from annoying relatives. The holidays are just over. Revel in the respite from forced family merriment! 🙂

Beat the winter blues: You are obviously exhausted with cooking the holiday feast and entertaining guests. Now relax. Delay household chores. Think of dust as snow. Sip your coffee and watch your kids make dust angels. If you must go for grocery shopping, then think of it as buying gifts for your entire family. Non-starving is the best gift of all.

Indulge: You may find it hard to believe but scientific results have proved that dark chocolate is good for health. So treat yourselves to a bar now. Red wine contains antioxidants and it is good for your health.

So raise a glass to red wine and enjoy!