When you start getting anonymous new followers on your blog, even though you haven’t posted anything for almost close to a year, you have to realise that your blog is being spammed and it’s time to update it.
So hello everyone!
I am still alive and very much in Edinburgh. (Can’t love the city enough!)
Here’s the latest happenings:
My son will turn 9 next month! How did that happen? where did my sweet little baby go and who is this eye rolling (yeah!) monster brat who can get a lot annoying if I let the reins loose.
I got a driving licence last year. yay! In hindsight, it feels silly really. What’s the big deal in getting a driving licence but at the time of learning, it felt major work. Accomplishing something, anything really, after a break of almost 7 years does feel like a major achievement.
I got a job! Woohooo! That’s another accomplishment. Another tick mark to the list of goals. It has been a month since I started working, so now I can say it feels real and it is real. But sometimes I have to pinch myself if this is really true.
Seeing Roger Federer live in action: What a dream come true. We went to see him play at the O2 arena. He lost the match against David Goffin; but to see him, be in the same space as him, what pure joy!
These highs later in the last year were not before I was hit with the lowest of lows. My dear grandmother, my aaji, died last August. It feels surreal, it feels fake. It cannot be true. Writing it down doesn’t make it real or acceptable. People say writing about loss and grief and suffering would somehow lessen it, lessen the blow. I find it impossible to write about it. It feels superficial. You cannot express what you feel and how deep the pain is. I didn’t feel much at the time. I was like a robot, going about doing things that needed done. I was on autopilot going through the motions of life. Life has become so busy. There is no time to grieve, no time to stop and think and feel. And then suddenly it comes crashing down, the gut wrenching pain while you are doing something mundane. A word, a song, a situation, a long forgotten memory, and you have ripped open a wound.
Aansoo ab tum kabhi na behna
Apna dard kisise na kehna