Kiddo begins playgroup

The kiddo started playgroup on 12th Jan. That’s where I have been busy for the entire week. Here’s his progress:

Day1: Played with the toys and performed all activities. I was present the whole time.

Day2: The session leader asked me to step out for some time so that kiddo can adjust to the concept of his mommy leaving him for some time and coming back again. He wailed and cried the entire time I was outside and his screams could be heard from outside the sound proof hall. This happened for all the 4 times that I left the room. After all of this, he gave me the look ‘am-scared-and-angry-but-I-won’t-cry-and-show-anymore’. The heart-rending part in all this chaos was, once when I peeped into the room to check on the kiddo, a few kids had gathered around him and were smiling and trying to make him feel at home.

Day 3: Much the same. Only this time he knew I was going to leave him so he kept an eye on me all the time.

Day 4: He kept asking me all the time whether I was going to leave him again. The kids had a separate exercise session in a room downstairs so I was present all the time. He enjoyed.

Day 5: I stayed outside the room for a whole of 10 minutes. He cried for a minute or so but then was happily drawing clouds and painting them blue! I kept peering into the room but he painted away to glory and kept calling my name in between without crying. Oh god! My son staying away from me in a whole new atmosphere with strangers and enjoying himself. I was in a panic. I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. I knew that this day was to come sooner or later. He would be staying without me in the company of strangers and other kids but actually seeing him go through the transition was heart breaking.

I always kept complaining to my husband that I don’t get any free time and me time and now that I know I will be getting a couple of hours for myself, I feel so lost. What would I do for this whole while without my son tagging along? I wouldn’t be part of his life for these 2 hours. I know soon he will be at the playgroup for the entire morning and then he would go to pre-school, I was so focused on this being hard for him that I didn’t realise how hard it is going to be for me.

The umbilical cord is being cut, am suffering from separation anxiety.. 😦