Most of the times, people don’t realise that their words uttered in innocence can hurt other people and affect their esteem. I, being a victim of this many times know how draining this can be physically and emotionally. Instead of ranting on about a recent experience, let me write down some coping mechanisms:
It is easy to blame ourselves and get into the same old cycle of guilt, blames, anger and no results. Instead of blaming yourself for all the guilt and pessimism, you need to identify that negativity is coming from the other person. It doesn’t origin in our minds. You need to identify that this isn’t a one time experience and that something is off and perhaps someone is subtly manipulating you and not being honest with you. Identify this negative behaviour.
Do not try to make these people see their error and ill ways. There is no point in doing battle. By fighting them, you only give them more attention and more value in your life. These people want our energetic resources and the more we dwell on them, the more they receive what they want. We do not have to fight them in order to ‘help’ them as they do not need our help.
Keep your thoughts in check when you encounter situations created by negative people. Our thoughts usually run around these lines, “I can’t believe he/she did this to me! How unfair this is to me. How could she lie to me like that? I will show him. I will say this to him..blah blah..because that is what she deserves. Or maybe I will not talk to her anymore..that will show her” and so on. You see how much mental energy we are sending them?
The solution is not easy. We need some mental discipline. Try to stop those thought patterns. Get out of that situation, location, place. A change in surroundings can drastically change your thoughts and perceptions about a negative situation.
Stop dwelling on these people long after the events as that will turn out to be a true obstacle. If we keep thinking about them all the time then these people become a negative force in our life. Try to turn your thoughts towards positive things and towards what brings you joy.
The energy we send them makes negative people thrive. Stop sending them energy. You may find that the negativity may initially increase to regain our attention. Don’t give up even if it may seem difficult and the negativity will subside and eventually cease. Negative people disappear of their own when we stop giving them attention.
We all have negative people in our lives, bosses, subordinates, relatives etc. If we focus on them, we will send them more energy and they will have more power over you. Try not to let them affect your happiness and joy. They only have power because we send them the energy to feed their negativity. If we stop doing that, they will have no control over us.
How you resolve a situation is always up to you. Direct your energy towards something else, your job, your kids, your spouse, your hobbies. Once you have set the aim, the universe will conspire to assist you in it.
Sometimes we have no idea how to resolve a situation. If this is a family member then we can definitely not walk away. However, miraculous things happen when we focus on the solution.
visualise what you want to happen. The power of visualisation is amazing. Send your energies towards this positive visualisation and things might just come out in the way you want them to. Surround yourself with things and people who bring you joy and distance yourself from the negativity of these people.
Blog, rant out, let your energies out by helping other people. 🙂