Goodbye

Posted: August 7, 2010 in Blogging, stories
Tags: , , , , , ,

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 13; the thirteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

She wiped her eyes and stared at the stick. Two lines. It was positive. She knew her parents wouldn’t understand. Her boyfriend had broken up with her yesterday. Her graduation exams were coming up next week.

She craddled the bottle of sleeping pills in her hands.

“Goodbye”, she whispered as tears trickled down her cheeks.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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Comments
  1. gkam says:

    Well composed 55fiction. Start to finish and the consequence.

    All the best!
    Gkam- Goodbye

  2. Vikas Khair says:

    aww so sad but so true all the best for BAT-13

  3. Leo says:

    hi Maddie, short yet poignant 55 fiction. well written πŸ™‚

    ATB for BATOM

  4. vibhuti says:

    A suicidal goodbye!
    A harshly true to life 55er…
    Good one..:)

  5. Leo says:

    harsh, but it is something that happens a lot..

    well written.. all the best for BATOM..

  6. Dreamer says:

    So much said in so few words! A truly remarkable 55-er. All the best for BAT 13.

  7. megzone says:

    ishhh..!!!tragic..
    better wud have been abortion.. why suicide…
    she cud have got the kid aborted and said Goodbye baby..!! πŸ™„

    • Maddie says:

      Hi Meg, welcome to my blog.

      Yea she could have said goodbye to the baby but maybe she found that too difficult and instead thought ending her life might be best for all.

  8. pushpee says:

    Aw!! too young, at such news she must be in fright
    and in ur 55ers you expressed it right..ATB
    :))

  9. pushpee says:

    too young she must have been in fright
    and in your poem you expressed it just right
    ATB :))

  10. pushpee says:

    oo young she must have been in fright
    and in your poem you expressed it just right
    ATB :))

  11. Shweta says:

    happens…alot…nicely put up..

  12. sidrasayeed says:

    hmm…I’ve a hard time understanding how people can convey a story in such a short format. You’ve done just FINE πŸ™‚

  13. Touching F55. Although, it lacked the unexpected twist which is usually an important ingrediant of a fiction 55. Anyways thats ok till the reader is able to get what u r saying and that was nicely in ur story…. all the best for BAT!

  14. Well very composed 55-Fiction.. Do give it g-man, he will love it.. Goodbye in a sucidal attempt..

    All The Best for BAT 13.

    Do stop by Gmsaravana – Goodbye

    If you wish to save a heart, then do stop by Save a Heart! Initiative. Do take the pledge and vote if you wish..

    Yours Frendly,
    Someone Is Special

  15. Nethra says:

    She should have thought of abortion…why suicide?
    Anyway it was a nice 55er.
    All the best for BAT! :)l

    • Maddie says:

      Hey Nethra, Welcome to my blog.

      Hmmm.. she could have aborted the baby. Maybe she was too overwhelmed with the circumstances or too depressed.

      ATB for BATOM πŸ™‚

  16. Vee.. says:

    exactly opposite to my take on Goodbye. Well crafted 55er. πŸ™‚

  17. vilas says:

    Great piece.Very well said.You have won the competition as far as I am concerned.

  18. Well written. I always admire people who can write 55 fiction. Good one!

  19. Shahid says:

    A great 55er….and very clear too…usually most people do not understand…but this was very very clear

  20. Amity says:

    too poignant! but goodbyes are always sad though expressed in different ways!

    i like your rake here…:)

    ATB for BAT!

  21. phoenixritu says:

    Harsh, very real and excellently written. Wow

    • Maddie says:

      Thanks Ritu. Welcome to my blog. I am regular visiter to your lovely blog though I never comment. πŸ™‚ Am really glad to visited mine. ATB for BATOM πŸ™‚

  22. pragmatic and a happening tragic …
    keep expressing

  23. This hit me like a stinger missile…so short but so damn effective…

  24. Vikram Pyati says:

    Quite poignant… but somehow I did not like the ending….very sad

  25. Vipul Grover says:

    A well written and balanced 55 Fiction.. nice wrk πŸ™‚

  26. Rinaya says:

    Nice one! πŸ™‚ Realistic & heart-touching.Goodluck fro BAT13!

  27. Gyanban says:

    Writing a story with a begining middle and end in 55 words is a difficult task.Often times the clincher is the twist.
    In your story I think the scene construct was well etched, however it needed an unpredictable end.
    A good effort nevertheless.

  28. Sid says:

    Oh dear, you picked up a most dangerous topic ever present. Teen pregnancy has the darkest shade of gray amongst all!!!

    Cheers,
    Sid
    Holy cow!!! Did you know…

  29. Guddu says:

    Very good 55 fiction.. I can never deliver a message so perfectly in such less words.. All da best πŸ™‚

    http://www.frescobyme.blogspot.com

  30. Hiyaa says:

    Surely well composed story! All the best! Here after ages Maddie! Cheers
    Sandy

  31. […] of readers when I first participated in Blogaton and the post that has got most comments so far isΒ GoodbyeΒ even though it is only a 55 fiction post. The postΒ My sinsΒ has got the most likes on […]

  32. Nice one Maddie! I really enjoyed that…

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