I snapped. Today morning. There really was no reason. Everything was going on as usual. Shantanu was a little cranky. I shouted at him. Poor baby. He was hungry but wasn’t ready to eat. Then I did my usual chores around the kitchen still feeling angry at the world. Maybe I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Then while chatting with my parents they realised that I am the one who is being cranky today. So mom asked me what did I have for my breakfast. And I said I didn’t eat anything since morning. She asked me to put something in my stomach so that I would be my normal self. And that’s when it struck me that I was hungry, ravenous. And that’s why I snapped.
It’s a very old habit of mine. Whenever am hungry and don’t realise it, I get angry and upset with everything. My brain has some loose connection with the stomach I think. It doesn’t recognise hunger when it sees it. After having a glass of milk I felt much better and functional. Of course the caffeine helped. One of my earliest memories are of me upset and crying over something very trivial and my grandmother asking me to eat. This incident made me nostalgic and brought back all those childhood memories and habits.
The best one, to be loved and understood by family. Isn’t it wonderful to have your loved ones understand you without you understanding yourself. I feel very protected with this feeling. I know I have someone to look up to who would know what’s wrong with me if I ever have trouble understanding myself.
PS: I know it’s a kind of stupid post but I wanted to jot it down for memory.