Pretending

Have you met people who pretend to be someone they are not? Such people give out opinions which are not theirs. They just say so to go with the flow or to be liked by everyone. But that is just a mask to hide their real selves. The ideas are not original and they have no conviction. It is just to gel with the group or to create a high opinion of themselves in others.

But how long can you pretend? Can you compromise so much with what is popular that you lose yourself in it. That you lose your identity? What is the harm in having a mind of your own. It may not be popular, hell, it may not even be right. But it is your own. The other pretentious one is just a mask to cover yourself up.

Why is it that we are so ashamed to show to the world who we really are and what we think. Is it because we fear ridicule for saying something that is not in line with the masses? Or do we really think so low about ourselves that we want to hide it from the rest of the world. I have seen friends just nodding in agreement to someone saying something even if they didn’t know anything about it. What is the shame in saying “I don’t know.” You cannot possibly know everything!

This is one aspect of pretending. The other is when you accept the beliefs and way of living of others even if it is contradictory to your own. And hence you start changing yourself and moulding yourself around that person. No matter if it gives you a personal hell of a situation to live in. Now you would ask me, why would anyone do that? That is exactly what I am trying to find out about a close person. You can see him suffer. You know that this is not how he is. You can see clear signs that given a different situation and environment, this person would act differently and bloom. But in the vicinity of this other person you can see him retrieving in his shell and acting to please him. But at what cost? Is this out of love? fear? If it is out of love, the other person wouldn’t let that happen would he? But is it out of fear? Fear of Why is there a need to be afraid of living the way you want to leave? Why the fear? Nobody is threatening anyone. There have been no fights. Why then the fear of unknown?

PS: I know this post sounds too vague for understanding. But I have been thinking a lot lately. I cannot exactly put down the things as they are but still needed some kind of a release for pent up thoughts and angst.

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4 responses to “Pretending

  1. Perx July 15, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Sometimes you become who you pretend to be and then it doesn’t seem all that bad.. it might seem hard at the start, but u discover that some part of you was always like that and it just got highlighted.. its still you, cuz it will have ur shades, ur signature on it.. its just changing urself, adapting to one’s environment..

    • Maddie July 16, 2009 at 5:37 pm

      Hey Perx, welcome to my blog. Yes, I understand if you adapt to an environment and still be you. But what I am trying to say here is that you completely change yourself, even your beliefs and morals and turn into someone who isnt you and what isnt even your nature. That is when there is a fight between you inner true self and the one you try to be. Something just doesn’t fit and it’s a constant fight on a daily basis.

  2. Amit July 17, 2009 at 12:06 am

    Not everyone is made of two layers. Sometimes there’s a third layer, even deeper, that’s the same as the top. Like pie.

    Well, I sometimes do things to please people. I know thats not me but I still do it. But, then what I hate is that people pretending just for the heck of it. Without any reasons.

    • Maddie July 17, 2009 at 11:17 am

      Sometimes we do need to pretend to please people. Everyone does that I believe. But constant pleasing makes you a doormat once others come to know about it. Pretending just for the heck of it is ridiculous.

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