I just had a long bitter conversation with my best friend. Best friend…well it is just for namesake. It doesn’t mean anything now.. at least not to him. We were the best of friends once, the kind who can read each other’s mind, read each other’s thoughts even without having to say them. We both had thought that this friendship would never cease. It would be eternal. It would be maintained and nourished and would grow better and healthier by the day.
But as all good things come to an end, this was marred too. Now what is left is hurt, resentment, bitterness, animosity and sourness. We talk only to bring up past incidents, say words to each other that are untrue and meant to hurt. Why does it happen? You invest and cultivate a relationship and it perishes to soil. You cannot even smell the sweet fragrance that it once had.
You try so hard to re-create those memories and restore your relation but it keeps getting repulsive. You just get dragged or drag the other person into it. What do you do then?
Every time I get hurt, angry or sad by something or someone, I have a good cry. I believe it cleanses us of the resentment, hurt and negative emotions. I feel very light and it allows me to let go of things. I never cried after this friendship broke. Somewhere deep inside me, I don’t want to let go of this friend. I don’t want to let go of all those memories and be indifferent to them in any way.
Mujhe yeh dar hai ki teri aarazoo na mit jaaye..
Bahut deeno se tabiyat meri udaas nahi..